Gym Pains

I’ve established a routine of going to gym twice a week. I finally succeeded after much efforts. I’ve to admit that I feel exhausted mostly from work, Pushing myself to gym is an emotional struggle. In more than a year of working, I’ve gained about 5 kilograms. I know the culprit – eating excessively during work to get through the day. It’s devastating when I stand in front of the mirror, looking at how my body has changed. How did I let myself slip? Sometimes I wonder if i could have been better prepared for the changes a job and a relationship would bring about. It’s not easy but I guess this is what we call growing up.

TGIF

Teachers are deployed for a nationwide marking exercise after the students have taken their primary school leaving examinations. I was so exhausted from that, when four days of it ended, I just felt like sleeping. I was only back to my teaching today and the marking has piled up. After school, just as my colleague A and I were about to say TGIF and scoot, A informed me that we were oral examiners. God is on our side. The mere thought of us forgetting our duty, still turns my leg into jelly. I could have gotten into soup that would be hot enough to scald my ass. So there went the plan of having some time to chill before heading to the gym.

Lugging my three bags – one for gym, two for marking, I made my way to True Fitness. For some reason, I just wanted to break down. I can’t quite put a finger as to was it; the load of the bags, of exhaustion, or just emotional load. Whatever it was, I was sad thinking how I was going to survive a gym session for the next hour. I left my water bottle at work, so I was annoyed for not packing up properly. Somehow, I pulled through an hour of gym.

I told R that we would meet tomorrow instead because I was beat. I guess I felt it wasn’t fair to sulk and make someone miserable because I am bummed out.

I’ve just completed a set of marking. More awaits over the weekend.
God, please pull me through.

Oh well, so much for a thank god it’s Friday.

Much love, xoxo

Running the last leg of the race

It’s been a while and I always thought it would be easy for me to somehow find time to blog but I suppose this was harder than I expected. I’m a slave to my job or in other words, simply put, as many teachers would say – married to my job. I have less than 10 teaching days and in which I’ve to complete the syllabus, the revision papers and make sure the students are ready for their examinations. Crap, will I be able to do so and retain my sanity as well?

Sometimes I sit at my desk and imagine stuffing my face with as many slices of red velvet cake whenever I think of the endless amount of work I’ve left to do – marking, administrative matters and reports/analysis. Somehow the thought of all the cake I could eat helps me get through the day. I’ve put on at least 5 kilograms of fat, somedays I find myself squeezing the love handles hoping that I could just tear it out and throw it away. Somedays, I think my fat handles will explode. I just hope to increase my frequency of gym visits.

I feel so scared of peeking up to see if someone’s looking for me – more work implied. Don’t be me wrong, I love my job but I do less of it and more of things that don’t make sense to me. I wish I could spend more time on being focused on two subject areas instead of doing everything under the sun. I feel like a chameleon. With every new role, my avatar is changed, coloured in such a way that I blend into the environment I am suppose to handle.

I keep pushing myself everyday to work because I love to see my children. The class time I’ve with them is priceless. What I dread is going back to my cubicle and craving for another Oreo cookie because instead of attending to marking, I’ve to upload photographs for events I’d taken in school as part of the publications committee. Yes, I wear many hats. I’ve lost count of the things I’ve done and I feel so guilty when I can’t ever finish marking. I feel it’s ridiculous that I’m guilt-stricken even for not wanting to mark during the weekend. I have to sacrifice “me” time.

I don’t really know if I’d ever find a balance but I’m giving myself another year or so to figure out. I just hope I find my way to a place where my sanity isn’t robbed and I don’t think of sugar every day.

Sweet dreams my fellow beings,
Signing off with much love, xoxo

Someone Like You

She’s got to be the best, for me. The heart broken soul.

Every little part of me

I love the remix.

Spotted: Me, out and about.

My new favourite of wearing my hair up. My hair’s layered hence the mini clips.

That's a happy girl. My look for the day. Should have brought my sunnies.

Quick Meal Idea: Pasta Sauce Bread Topped With Cheese

My younger sister used to make this for herself and I would credit her for her clever way
to rid our hunger pangs when there’s nothing else to eat at home and we are too lazy to cook anything at all!

I used:

• Mozzarella Cheese
• A loaf of wholemeal bread
• Barilla Pasta Sauce

I placed the bread topped with sauce and cheese in the oven to toast of about 15 minutes at 240degrees. I did not leave the oven to pre-heat.

Hope this works for you as well.

Spending Me Time

Today I did what I hadn’t done in a long time – I bought myself a ticket to watch Super 8 on my own.

I was back at work to help my colleague and after it ended, I took a stroll down to the MRT station. I decided I should watch a movie since I’m going to be working myself to the bone next week. Also, I’ve been having a lot of thoughts of how I could have had a better half of 2011. Well, it’s too late given the time has gone by and I can’t reverse it and change things at all. I can only work towards a good end of my year.

Okay the trailers have begun.
Captain America looks good!

Laters!

Missing You

On the repeat. It’s just so catchy.

Spotted: Me, after the church wedding.

I woke up early for the wedding and this is me, after the wedding. I decided to pin my hair up instead of wearing it down. Yes, I coloured my nails in Malaga Wine this time!